Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
