I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
