I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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