the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
