McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
