alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
