That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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