I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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