miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
