hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
