It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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