that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
