Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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