At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
