I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
