You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
