is your mom at the bar?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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