You're a womanizer and a bitch.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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