i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We are all done wearing pants today
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
