I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
