woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
