what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
