It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
