why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
