i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
