R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
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