there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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