You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
