I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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