sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
