I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize