Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
