hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
