She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
