saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
