He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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