I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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