I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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