maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
