Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
