Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My vagina is officially offended.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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