I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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