my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
