A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
