there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
