how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
