and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
