Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
