I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
