she was so not down for the gang bang
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize