found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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