He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
