I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
