i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
