sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
