im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Can you bring me the toilet please
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize