In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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