Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
