no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
