420 ftw
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i dont even know how to be here
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
