The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
