Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
