READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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