And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
