Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
