Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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