goodnight i made you a song goodbye
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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