I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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